Ghost of You and Me
by kaydi
Summary: Marianna married a man who seemed perfect. Two years later, she found she was wrong. Now Marianna Black has to struggle to pick up her life after her whole world comes crashing down


Ghost of You and Me

_Ghost of You and Me_ Nothing is mine, but Mari, Cassi, and the twins. The song belongs to bbmak. Oh and, very soon I will be taking my name is Sirius Black down to edit it.I have several new scenes and some new theories to change. Hopefully, I'll have the completely new version up by the end of summer. My friends and I are writing a series for all the marauders,she is working on My name is Remus Lupin, and I'm working on My name is JamesPotter. 

**1987, a small house outside London.**** **

Mari turned over in her bed, unable to find a comfortable position. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't sleep. 

Then in a flash she realized what it was. The bed was too empty.She looked over to the spot that was usually occupied by her husband.It was empty , of course, as it had been for years now. His bed was now on the floor of Azkaban, while she got their empty bed.

What am I supposed to do with all these blues  
Haunting me

Unable to sleep, she slipped out of bed and went to the kitchen to make some tea. Perhaps that wouldhelp her sleep and keep away thedreams that plagued her all the time. Slipping past the room in which her almost three-year-old daughter slept, she sighed as she paused and opened the door, just to check. 

Cassi slept like an angel, like her father. But appearances could be deceiving. Unable to bear the sight of her fatherless daughter, Mari finally reached the kitchen.   
Everywhere no matter what I do  
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow

As she sat at the table, sipping her tea, her eyes rested on the emptymantle and shelves.

Everything had been packed away, read for their move.Mari's mother had been after her for months now, ever since it happened to move back home. And finally, she was.There was nothing to keep her here anymore. 

I can't let go  
When will this night be over

Her gaze traveled to one box, still open. Lying on top were several photos.

In almost every one, either him and herself, or one of their many friends grinned and waved from the frame.She tore her eyes from one of Lily and James on their wedding day.They were dead, gone, and nothing she could do could bring them back, or erase the fact that they had been killed by their best friend, her husband.

Unwelcome memories flooded over her and she pushed them back.She had long ago given upon hoping it was all a bad dream.   
I didn't mean to fall  
In love with you

They had met on Mari's graduation. Addi, had been best friends with her at school, and it was she who had introduced Marianna O'Connell to her dashing mysterious brother, Sirius Black. And later he had told her everything, all about the world in which he and his friends lived, what they were, even who they were fighting. 

And she had fallen in love with him. It hadn't been planned. He had just been another boyfriend, nice, cute, the kind of thing that was good for a while then tapered off.But when he looked into her eyes that night on the pier, she would have done anything for him. and she did. She married him.   
And baby there's a name  
For what you put me through

Mari slammed her cup down on the table. Those were notreal memories. That had not been the real Sirius. He had lied to her, as he had lied to everyone.He hadtaken her into his life, his bed, taken her as his wife.Had he been plotting even as he proposed to her?   
It isn't love  
It's robbery

Hehad stolen everything from her.He had taken her from her family, taken her away from her friends. He had stolen everything from her, her friends, her life, her innocence. For even after learning the truth about her best friend whom she had known since the age of ten, a marriage, and the birth of her first child, Mari had still been innocent in many ways. She had still believed there was good in everyone. But she had been wrong, so very wrong.  
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

Even now she could hear the ghost of his voice, whispering to her, making her laugh, tickling her ear.But that's all it was, a ghost.   
Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by  
Phantom ships  
Lost at sea and one of them is mine

She'd seen a lot of thing in the past few years. Raised a muggle, Mari had had no knowledge of the existence of magic untilher graduation party.There Addi hadcalled over her brother and Mari had met him. After a few dates, the relationship grew serious, to play on words. But Mari had always thought her perfect boyfriend was hiding something from her. But when he confessed, she'd loved him all the more. 

In those years, she'd seen people killed by terrible curses,families torn apart, children abandoned, wives widowed. But never, never had she thought it would be her children raised without a father. Never had she thought it would be her sleeping alone at night. But it was.   
Raising my glass I sing a toast to the midnight sky  
I wonder why the stars don't seem to guide me

She walked to the window, unable to sleep, her head too full with memories.Looking out into the sky, she could just see the constellationCanis major rising over the sky.The star, Sirius winked at her.  
I didn't mean to fall  
In love with you

She slammed down the shades, blocking out his namesake.Everything had gone so wrong!  
And baby there's a name  
For all the things you do  
It isn't love  
It's robbery  
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

Falling to floor, her strength failing for the first time since it had happened, Mari cried.She poured her soul out and rocked herself back and forth, letting everything wash over her.She would never see any of them again, never hear Lily and Addi giggle with her as they discussed their mischievous husbands, never hearanother sudden explosion coming from where ever the Marauders were, never hear Siriuslaugh, or hear him tell her everything would be alright or that he loved her. She would never feel him sleep, his arm restinglightly on her stomach, pulling her close in his sleep.   
The ghost of you and me 

when will it set me free

She sobbed, when would it end? Would she ever stop feeling this pain, this sorrow, this grief, this guilt?Why? Why her?What had she ever done to deserve this pain?Mari sobbed again, grief renewed as thephotographic Sirius of hers kissed the wife he had just received in the picture.   
I hear the voices call following footsteps down the hall

"Mummy?" Mari looked up. Cassi stood in front of her,the smallstuffed dog clutched close to her as if it were her lifeline. 

"Yes, darling?" 

"Mummy, I can't sleep. I had a bad dream."Her heart lurched again. Cassi was so much like her brave husband.She had the same long black hair that fell in locks, framing her face.She had the long thin face, with huge black eyes that made her seem all the more thinner and her eyes all the more bigger. She even had the same laugh, theloud contagious laughter that filled the room and the hearts of all those that heard it.   
Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul...

This child,this daughter and her brothers, they were her salvation, her only reason for living.She was wrong in thinking she was alone, and had nothing to hope for.As long as she had her babies, she could live.At least Sirius had left her something to remember the man he had once been. He had left herchildren, something that was apart of him and a part of her. 

She took her daughter in her arms and held her tight. Cassi hugged her back, sensing something, perhaps the deep pain that her mother always carried with her.   
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow  
I can't let go

"It's alright, baby. Go back to sleep. " Cassi nodded and slipped back into her room, leaving Mari alone again.   
When will this night be over  
I didn't mean to fall  
In love with you

Perhaps things were not so hopeless. Things hadn't not gone the way she had planned, but then didn't God have a plan for everything?If this was hers, shedidn't like it.   
And baby there's a name  
For what you put me through

Silently, she gazed up atthe star again.She wondered where Sirius was tonight, if he was lonely, afraid, guilty.She almost felt sorry for him, almost. But then he had put himself there.It had been his choice and he had made the wrong one.And then he had betrayed them all.Leaving her alone, to live her life without him.   
It isn't love  
It's robbery

"Goodnight, Sirius." She whispered, and then she responded to the insistent cry of a hungry baby that beckoned her from down the hall. 

I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

And far away, a man stared out a tiny window, into the night, wishing to a star, his star, that he couldchange that one mistake that had cost him everything. 


End file.
